Anger is a healthy emotion when it’s in response to something bad that’s happened. It can motivate us to make changes or join a campaign.
But what if your anger is disproportionate to the trigger event? So you rage, shout, scream, throw things, punch a person, punch a wall (hurt yourself in the process), stab the cupboard, or whatever it is you do. Then later you have a sense of how over the top that was in response to your partner spilling a drink, or your child breaking a cup.
You start to feel ashamed of how much you ‘lost it’. You may or may not apologise and may genuinely believe that you won’t respond like that again until you do. The cycle starts over.
Anger is an addictive emotion, it’s powerful and causes surges of adrenaline which over time become addictive at a physiological level. It also becomes habitual to get angry and we know how hard it is to break habits and overcome addictions – but you can.
After raging you may feel ashamed or fear rejection.
My Own Anger
For 20 years I used rage to deal with any situation that I didn’t like. Although I had some insight into why I got so angry, that didn’t help me to stop. So, I just got extremely angry, shouted, screamed, smashed things and destroyed relationships.
Eventually, I found the right combination of self-help techniques and someone who gave me unswerving support to change. I can support you to untangle your anger, so you feel calmer and proud of how you handle difficult situations.