Do you make full-hearted as opposed to half-hearted decisions?
I would like you to think about whether you are approaching any situation in your life in half hearted way, without enthusiasm or energy. Then I would like you to consider how to approach the same situation in a full hearted way, with sincerity and commitment. It is vitally important, I believe, to communicate your real feelings to the important people in your life.
Imagine a friend rings and invites you out that night to a film. Your friend has recently had a relationship breakdown and is feeling low. You’re sympathetic to her situation. However, this is the end of a long busy week for you and you are half hearted about accepting the invitation. What you have in mind is going home, reading a book and recharging your batteries.
You are empathetic to your friend’s needs. Your first thought is ‘Well, I should make an effort…’ and consider accepting the invitation.
My question to you is, by accepting that invitation, is your friend going to get the best, full hearted you? Will they enjoy the evening out? Maybe they love that you will discuss a film at length with them after your cinema visits, playing devil’s advocate – will you do that tonight? Are they getting the fully energised you which will help them navigate their way through their low mood?
If you’re a good actor they might not notice that you’re not enthusiastic. I’m not a good actor – my friends notice if I’m not putting much energy into the evening…
Being full hearted
It IS OK to say ‘I’m happy to go and see the film with you but not tonight. I’m tired and I need to go home and rest… Can we set a date to go next week?
So the next time something feels like a chore, take time to consider why you feel half-hearted about it. Ask yourself Is there a way you can feel full hearted about this? Or is this a job for someone else? Then have an honest conversation about it…
Friends and family will know when we do things in a full-hearted way. When we genuinely want to spend time with them. Both of you benefit because it’s a genuine exchange of energy and not just something to tick off your ‘to do’ list…
I have just published my FREE ebook ‘Do you get angry with yourself?: 5 ways to improve your relationship with you!‘. If you would like a copy please click here