A sign of emotional intelligence is that we don’t seek perfection in either ourselves or other people. 

I love this! So many of us have taken on board societal messages which tell us that we must strive for perfection in our lives – our looks, our educational achievements and so much more.  By internalising this message, we do ourselves so much damage. Because we will never, ever reach perfection – we are being asked to seek the impossible.

Stop Seeking Perfection

The reason why I love this particular side of emotional intelligence is that to be really good at it – let’s use an academic measure, to get an A* or a first class degree in this subject – we should stop seeking perfection.  We need to become comfortable with being good enough.  We are human and therefore we are absolutely, definitely fallible.  An emotionally intelligent person accepts that there’s no such thing as getting everything perfectly right.

When we seek perfection, we are likely to be focusing on a small part of a bigger picture.  For example, imagine a performance which does not go quite to plan. And the performers choose to focus on the small percentage of things which did not go well.  They forget that the audience were very appreciative – they clapped loudly, maybe even dancing in the aisles. The audience probably didn’t even notice the minor shortcomings of the performance.  But the performers did, and choose not to simply revel in everything that went well. They end with a feeling of failure, rather than enjoying the buzz of the crowd. Does this example resonate with you? 

For further reading on Emotional Intelligence:

How to say no

Being Curious about people

I want to help you develop the emotional intelligence to stop seeking perfection.  I’m here to show you the different tools available to help you be comfortable to stop seeking perfection.  If I can help you, please contact me on 07702 454491 or at sarah@emotionalsupportforyou.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

I have just published my FREE ebook ‘Do you get angry with yourself?: 5 ways to improve your relationship with you!‘.  If you would like a copy please click here